Posting that Kinoki column reminded me of the oddest letter I’ve received.
Here it is for your reading pleasure:
I really love your column (the pumpkin one that’s out now is most excellent.) While going through some old issues, I came across the one about those foot detox pads. I’m not sure if your feet were used for the photo that accompanied the article, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to answer a slightly random survey question for me. I conducted this survey while in college and still add to it now and again. If you’d be willing to answer it that would be awesome.
So here it goes:
What is your shoe size?
Are your feet ticklish?
If so, where? i/e: soles, arches, under toes, heels, etc.
On a scale of 1-10 (1-least ticklish, 10-extremely ticklish) please rate how ticklish each spot is.
I know it’s totally random, but I thought it’d be worth a shot asking.
Thanks and keep the great articles coming!”
Partly because I’m naive and partly because I’m always thrilled to get a letter, the creepiness of this correspondence didn’t hit me until I was halfway through writing back.
Then I felt guilty, ’cause who knows? Maybe this guy really did have a kinky thesis project back in school? Who am I to shrink his sample size?
So, writer whose name I withheld, here’s the goods:
Shoe size: One is 13, one is now a peg.
Ticklish: One, definitely. The other, less so.
Where: Left, on the arch. Right, the toes of my ghost limb.
Scale: Left, 5. Peg, 1. Ghost foot, 11.
Happy holidays, my fetishist friend.